What Are The Odds Of A Person Being A Good Spouse If They Had No Example of That Growing Up?
A friend of mine said something to me today that really got me thinking. If one has not experienced a beautiful, loving marital relationship via their parents, grandparents, etc. how would they really know what to do and what to expect regarding marriage? I was blessed to see my parents lovingly interact for 30 of their 50+ years together and I am sure it set a high standard. 
There is television of course which shows every possible scenario regarding relationships but I am not sure if people really hold on to positives seen on television as the negatives seem to be more prevalent. Many times, I presume if a person has had no concrete example, they may simply go into marriage due to the love they believe they feel for their significant other but may have very little basis or structure as to how to proceed day to day. They may not really know what love is or how to even love themselves so the relationship can become complicated. Then when things become stressful due to financial struggles, employment issues, children and child rearing, illness, maybe the couple doesn't know how to deal with the difficulties and from there they may grow apart, begin to rely on dependencies like other people (affairs), chemicals (drugs/alcohol) and exhibit erratic behavior (psychological malfunctions/illegal activities) which only separate the couple more. They may lose sight of what attracted them to the person in the first place and love begins to diminish. Sometimes a person might get so wrapped up in working and material things that they once again begin to neglect their spouse in ways that really matter like sharing their time, activities, quality moments and communication. BUT first and foremost, there is God and if both parties truly know Him, I believe they can make it through anything. He is our Ultimate Love and I truly believe that, even if someone has not experienced an earthly example of a wonderful relationship, if they seek God, they can receive a pattern through God's Word and the example of the relationship Jesus Christ wants to have with each of us. The Bible teaches us in I Corinthians 13:4 that "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." When we love, we are supposed to put the needs of our spouse before our own. We are to express sensitivity and caring. 
I wonder how many husbands know how special it is to bring flowers home for no reason...to help with the housework especially when both parties work outside the home in an effort not to overtire the wife, so they both can sit down at a decent hour together to share their day and relax. I wonder how many wives consider putting the children to bed by a certain time, for no other reason than she wants to have time for herself, making the effort to look and smell her best to then create that loving visual that her husband needs..soft music...conversation...taking a walk...engaging in massage. Couples need to be mindful whether it is 5 months or 50 years that this person is your blessing. Nurture this relationship and be thankful for it always. We must also exercise the Fruit of the Spirit, Galatians 5:22-23 says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Everyday might not be roses but a single strand of thread is not nearly as strong as a strand of 3 God, you and your mate - Keeping God first as you and your spouse take life's journey can make 
for the most special relationship ever. In Christ, you are a new creation and in Him, all things are possible. So, all that considered, I just answered my own question. If both parties are in Christ, God can make good spouses and long-term loving marriages regardless of a person's upbringing. Your relationship with Christ is really the key. Blessings.
There is television of course which shows every possible scenario regarding relationships but I am not sure if people really hold on to positives seen on television as the negatives seem to be more prevalent. Many times, I presume if a person has had no concrete example, they may simply go into marriage due to the love they believe they feel for their significant other but may have very little basis or structure as to how to proceed day to day. They may not really know what love is or how to even love themselves so the relationship can become complicated. Then when things become stressful due to financial struggles, employment issues, children and child rearing, illness, maybe the couple doesn't know how to deal with the difficulties and from there they may grow apart, begin to rely on dependencies like other people (affairs), chemicals (drugs/alcohol) and exhibit erratic behavior (psychological malfunctions/illegal activities) which only separate the couple more. They may lose sight of what attracted them to the person in the first place and love begins to diminish. Sometimes a person might get so wrapped up in working and material things that they once again begin to neglect their spouse in ways that really matter like sharing their time, activities, quality moments and communication. BUT first and foremost, there is God and if both parties truly know Him, I believe they can make it through anything. He is our Ultimate Love and I truly believe that, even if someone has not experienced an earthly example of a wonderful relationship, if they seek God, they can receive a pattern through God's Word and the example of the relationship Jesus Christ wants to have with each of us. The Bible teaches us in I Corinthians 13:4 that "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." When we love, we are supposed to put the needs of our spouse before our own. We are to express sensitivity and caring. 
I wonder how many husbands know how special it is to bring flowers home for no reason...to help with the housework especially when both parties work outside the home in an effort not to overtire the wife, so they both can sit down at a decent hour together to share their day and relax. I wonder how many wives consider putting the children to bed by a certain time, for no other reason than she wants to have time for herself, making the effort to look and smell her best to then create that loving visual that her husband needs..soft music...conversation...taking a walk...engaging in massage. Couples need to be mindful whether it is 5 months or 50 years that this person is your blessing. Nurture this relationship and be thankful for it always. We must also exercise the Fruit of the Spirit, Galatians 5:22-23 says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Everyday might not be roses but a single strand of thread is not nearly as strong as a strand of 3 God, you and your mate - Keeping God first as you and your spouse take life's journey can make 
for the most special relationship ever. In Christ, you are a new creation and in Him, all things are possible. So, all that considered, I just answered my own question. If both parties are in Christ, God can make good spouses and long-term loving marriages regardless of a person's upbringing. Your relationship with Christ is really the key. Blessings.
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