Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Love Yourself .......Right Down To Your Pinkie Toe

I was awakened this morning by the thought of my Mom pampering and moisturizing herself from head to toe each day.  There is a phrase that seems to be commonly used more than ever, "I'm going to run and jump in the shower." Why are we running?  Why are we figuratively jumping?  (smile). When was the last time you actually took a nice long soak in a bathtub?  You deserve it; more specifically your skin deserves it.  

Showers can be very harsh on our skin to the point of drying it out.  When we hurriedly care for ourselves, many times we do not cleanse completely, when we dry off, we rub our skin harshly with the towel and/or miss drying certain areas.  Harsh rubbing once again adds to skin dryness.  Leaving certain areas damp can lead to fungus and bacterial issues.  Showering is fine for periodic use but bathing allows us to add things to the water that can help us relax, like lavender, or things that exfoliate, like sea salt and things that moisturize, like bath oil.  Soaking adds an element of relaxation that we all need.  This can be a time of meditation, reflection and even stress-free brainstorming.  Upon departing the bath, instead of rubbing harshly, simply pat the skin dry so that some of the water remains and follow up immediately with a lotion or moisturizing cream to form a seal...from head to toe.  

This brings me back to the memory of my Mom.  Though she had Alzheimer's, I encouraged her to do as much as she was possibly able to do for herself, as I stood nearby to help if she asked me to or if I felt she needed me.  In doing this, I was showing her respect and simultaneously helping to keep her brain active. Some tasks had been a part of her life for so many years, the actions accompanying the task seemed to naturally trigger and this practice lasted for many years.  She may not have remembered 5 minutes later, however, that she had done the task but this is the nature of Alzheimer's.  

After I helped her out of the bath tub, she would cover her body to keep warm and also because she was a very modest lady.  Then, she would very methodically remove her favorite skin care products from the cabinet.  While standing, she would uncover each part of the body as needed and like a trained masseuse, after patting most of her body dry, she would take time to thoroughly apply creams and lotions.  It was incredible to watch and it taught me a lesson.  Lastly, she would thoroughly dry every single toe, and then dry in between each toe.  Next, she would sit down to massage and moisturize her feet.  You could tell each toe was special to her, and I truly believe the pinkie toe got a little bit more love.  Knowing my Mom the way I did, I bet she thought often about the many miles and experiences her feet had walked her thru.  She and my Dad always expressed how thankful they were for even the simplest of things.  Baby powder and after bath spray completed the ritual,   She looked radiant on a daily basis and just thinking of this brings the memory of her scent to my mind.  

This may take you up to an hour...maybe more.  Adding candles and your favorite music is the piece de resistance.  It is time well spent friends.  Just ask yourself, "Am I worth it?"  I believe you will hear a resounding, 'YES I AM!

Monday, January 4, 2016

Well I'm BAAAAAAACK!! Happy New Year Everyone and Blessings to you and your family!!

Wow!  God has brought me through ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ > some things these past 2 years and now I am truly feeling ready to embark upon my writing, traveling and speaking career once again.

It was hard losing Mom and I'm sure you understand that.  Yes, I did continue to pray, worship,  take care of my family, attend classes, work, etc. but I wasn't doing it necessarily with the gusto that I had originally.  My spirit was at peace, the smile was on my face, but I missed my sweet Mother's physical presence in my life.  Note that I mentioned "physical" presence.  I believe our loved ones are always with  us spiritually in one way or another.

In light of my awakening, so to speak, I have started to watch my eating habits closely again, regularly exercise and get appropriate sleep.  We all need a break from time to time.  So many of us give - give - give but fail to replenish and renew ourselves.  I told myself, when Mom became ill, that I needed to strengthen myself and become my best, in order to be the best for her.  Once she was gone, the grief set in and I lost my focus of self to some degree.  Maybe subconsciously, Mom's death halted my reason and desire for the daily replenishing routine I had become accustomed to.  Instead of saying, "I lost my focus,"  it might be better stated that my focus changed.

I definitely felt the desire to be comforted.  Though I was so appreciative that God had brought me a husband during my time with Mom, something changed with him once she passed too. He began to show signs of being self-centered and a lack of  being understanding and sympathetic, (see the poem I wrote previously and read between the lines).  He began to treat me as if I was disposable for some reason.  I asked if we could do counseling together but his response was a very loud, "NO!!"  God hates divorce, but He does not want His children mistreated either.  Unfortunately, after much prayer and patience, divorce ensued.  I relocated, with just enough gas to get me to my destination and I began to comfort myself.  Wrapping up in a warm blanket with Lay's original chips in the yellow bag and sour cream and onion dip was a definite go-to...but if one goes there too often, well, you know the consequences. LOL.  BUT, as I stated, I'm back.  I've relocated, and God has been so AMAZING; blessing me beyond measure.  The love of the Lord and Him working through my VA church, family in Christ along with my children, step-children and grandchildren really lifted me.  BTW, I now have a one year old grandson -  meet Zion!
He and his sister, Kalaya have birthdays 1 day apart. What an AWESOME Provider the Heavenly Father is! 

Thank you to all those Mom Squad sweethearts that continue to reach out to me and pray for me.  You are forever in my heart.  I am happy The Fish brought us together.  Most experiences are golden opportunities and no experience is a waste.  We can learn, grow, share, help someone else and become better, forgiving and more loving along the way, via our experiences.  

I will share more as the months progress.  For now, take care, bless you, and check-in with me here.  It is so nice to be with you again.  I must give a shout-out to Morgan MacDonald of Paper Raven Books, my new mentor.  I truly believe we all have at least one wonderful book inside of us and Morgan can lead you to making this dream a reality.  Reach out to her and review her blog at http://paperravenbooks.com/craft-of-writing/.

Love and care,

Darlene aka Dee, formerly of 95.5 The Fish - Mom Squad!

P.S. Periodically, I have had the pleasure of hearing from the old gang.  Continue to check out the wonderful things that the current Mom Squad is doing!

Friday, July 19, 2013

How to Nurture a Loving and Caring Wife

Bring your wife a flower let her know how much you care
Massage her feet and shoulders so she feels that you are there
Write a little poem or sing a song that she can hear
Put your arms around her, hold her close to ease her fear
Say the meal was great, without her asking for reply
Tell her she looks pretty, don't let others catch her eye
And when the day is over or even when her nights are through
You can be pleased in knowing you did things she wanted you to
Thank her for the laundry she so dutifully folds
Tickle her a little, ask what dreams her heart may hold
Take an evening stroll with her and squeeze her hand real tight
Kiss her like you did with passion during dating nights
Tell her you admire her and sit with her and swing 
Take her dancing sometimes even if its not your thing
And when the day is over or even when her nights are through
You can be pleased in knowing you did things that you should do
So gentlemen I ask you do these ever cross your mind
And did you happen to notice most take no more than your time
It doesn't take a million to let her know she's number 2
She'll appreciate that God is first and that He guides you thru
You are to love her deeply just as Jesus loves the church
He brought to you this precious mate so you could end your search
So look her in her eyes sometimes and take her hands and pray
Show her that she's in your heart today and every day
And when the day is over or when her nights are through
You can be pleased in knowing you did things God asked of you
With Love,

Friday, July 12, 2013

Check Out Sassy, the Vegan Coach. Man I am truly enjoying fresh fruits and veggies like never before

Vegan">http://www.vegancoach.com/">Vegan Coach: Where Easy Cooking, Smart Nutrition, and a Fun Lifestyle Meet

This is it people.  I have walked for health for many years.  I was faithful with it for a long time and the weight came pouring off.  Now, I just want to clock my miles and the amount of time I spend walking.  I am going to take pictures along the way of my various journeys just for the memories.  You know with my interest being Psychology, I'm all about science now so this is going to be an experiment of sorts. Stay tuned...and don't forget to check out Sassy.  Her site is AWESOME!!!  I just received some salad recipes and videos of her creating the salads and making various dressings.  They sure look yummy!  She grinds a variety of seeds in a coffee grinder and adds those to her salads to add a POW.  I definitely will be checking out the Good Will to see if I can find a coffee grinder sans a high price tag! LOL.  Adios Muchachos.

Saturday, May 18, 2013


But this is not the end my friends!  I desire to be a LIFE LONG LEARNER so my quest for knowledge and improving myself continues.  I wish to bring more to the world as I absorb more spiritually and intellectually.  I have dreams...hopes...Its not over until God says its over.  And you know what?  Even though I decided to leave college 40 years ago to pursue a career, travel, have my children, even helped them go on to college and cared for my dear sweet Mother until her passing, I am THRILLED that I went back to school NOW.  My brain is feeling more energized and alive than ever, though I am in my mature years, LOL.  I may even be more focused, determined, confident and just happier to be there than I was 40 years ago so here is my advice to you.  No matter what age you are now...go to college or go to college again.  There are more career possibilities out there now that were not there before.  By learning new things, reading, meeting new people,driving a different direction to work you are helping the neurological cells in your brain transmit the electrical charges to the dendrites so stimulation can occur.  This helps to deter dementia and other cognitive disorders.  Hey, I didn't know all of that before college. hahaha  Love you and thank you for all your prayers and encouragement.  Big shoutout to all of my Professors and to my niece Lu! Thank you Heavenly Father once again for all of your mercy and grace, protection and provision...for giving me such loving parents that instilled a desire to work and learn in me and for the fruit of my loins Shae, Beranda and Micah.  I so appreciate how you lift me up daily.  Thank you Darrick, Dejae, Dominique, and Shun for being a part of my life and allowing me to be a part of yours. Blessings to all.
Fruit of My Loins
 Check out Mama T's new online magazine !! And BEE the best you can be!  www.thelmawells.com
Phi Theta Kappa Alpha Episilon Eta, Tri-C Honors Society,
 Black Caucua & Academic Distinction Medallion
Oh this feels good!


Thursday, March 14, 2013

Jim Leverenz - So Long For Now Dear Friend

Bless his heart and may he rest in peace
A dear man that was sincere and sweet
LOVED his family and all of his friends
One of those that are true blue to the bitter end

Congestive heart failure plagued him at times
But one rarely heard a complaint he'd say, "I'm fine"
Truly loved God and shared the word with others
Embraced my children and me as a single mother

Oh how he enjoyed eating out and grocery deals
He knew his way around the kitchen & prepared great meals
Jim loved baseball, TV, and Internet video games
Now that he is gone, life won't be the same

But thanks to our Loving Father in Heaven above
I am greatful for knowing someone that truly loved
He made the most of every single day
And I wish him God speed as he travels a Heavenly way

He also loved choirs and I hope he now hears
The angels singing his favorites the closer he draws near
I will miss you Dear Friend but I must truly say
I look forward to seeing you again in the hereafter some day

Say, "Hello" to my sweet father and my loving mother-dear
You were so kind to visit her & I believe she knew you were near
But now you all are together and can celebrate new life stress free
For you are in the arms of  the Precious One, Jesus, &  there's no other place I'd rather be

Friday, February 22, 2013


WOW! This flu really knocked me down family.  I was OUT of it for 7 days, not feeling relief til day 6.  OMG.  The doctor said it is going to take a few more days for me to get my energy back but PRAISE THE LORD I am on the mend.  Read more about my symptoms and the outcome at www.themomsquad.blogspot.com.  In the meantime, please stay well and do all you can to avoid this strain of flu.  Thank you all, so much, for the prayers everyone!!!  I will be praying for those of you that haven't gotten it...NOT TO GET IT.  I will be praying that those of you that suffered through it, NOT TO RELAPSE.  Blessings.