Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Love Yourself .......Right Down To Your Pinkie Toe




I was awakened this morning by the thought of my Mom pampering and moisturizing herself from head to toe each day.  There is a phrase that seems to be commonly used more than ever, "I'm going to run and jump in the shower." Why are we running?  Why are we figuratively jumping?  (smile). When was the last time you actually took a nice long soak in a bathtub?  You deserve it; more specifically your skin deserves it.  

Showers can be very harsh on our skin to the point of drying it out.  When we hurriedly care for ourselves, many times we do not cleanse completely, when we dry off, we rub our skin harshly with the towel and/or miss drying certain areas.  Harsh rubbing once again adds to skin dryness.  Leaving certain areas damp can lead to fungus and bacterial issues.  Showering is fine for periodic use but bathing allows us to add things to the water that can help us relax, like lavender, or things that exfoliate, like sea salt and things that moisturize, like bath oil.  Soaking adds an element of relaxation that we all need.  This can be a time of meditation, reflection and even stress-free brainstorming.  Upon departing the bath, instead of rubbing harshly, simply pat the skin dry so that some of the water remains and follow up immediately with a lotion or moisturizing cream to form a seal...from head to toe.  

This brings me back to the memory of my Mom.  Though she had Alzheimer's, I encouraged her to do as much as she was possibly able to do for herself, as I stood nearby to help if she asked me to or if I felt she needed me.  In doing this, I was showing her respect and simultaneously helping to keep her brain active. Some tasks had been a part of her life for so many years, the actions accompanying the task seemed to naturally trigger and this practice lasted for many years.  She may not have remembered 5 minutes later, however, that she had done the task but this is the nature of Alzheimer's.  

After I helped her out of the bath tub, she would cover her body to keep warm and also because she was a very modest lady.  Then, she would very methodically remove her favorite skin care products from the cabinet.  While standing, she would uncover each part of the body as needed and like a trained masseuse, after patting most of her body dry, she would take time to thoroughly apply creams and lotions.  It was incredible to watch and it taught me a lesson.  Lastly, she would thoroughly dry every single toe, and then dry in between each toe.  Next, she would sit down to massage and moisturize her feet.  You could tell each toe was special to her, and I truly believe the pinkie toe got a little bit more love.  Knowing my Mom the way I did, I bet she thought often about the many miles and experiences her feet had walked her thru.  She and my Dad always expressed how thankful they were for even the simplest of things.  Baby powder and after bath spray completed the ritual,   She looked radiant on a daily basis and just thinking of this brings the memory of her scent to my mind.  

This may take you up to an hour...maybe more.  Adding candles and your favorite music is the piece de resistance.  It is time well spent friends.  Just ask yourself, "Am I worth it?"  I believe you will hear a resounding, 'YES I AM!



Monday, January 4, 2016

Well I'm BAAAAAAACK!! Happy New Year Everyone and Blessings to you and your family!!

Wow!  God has brought me through ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ > some things these past 2 years and now I am truly feeling ready to embark upon my writing, traveling and speaking career once again.

It was hard losing Mom and I'm sure you understand that.  Yes, I did continue to pray, worship,  take care of my family, attend classes, work, etc. but I wasn't doing it necessarily with the gusto that I had originally.  My spirit was at peace, the smile was on my face, but I missed my sweet Mother's physical presence in my life.  Note that I mentioned "physical" presence.  I believe our loved ones are always with  us spiritually in one way or another.

In light of my awakening, so to speak, I have started to watch my eating habits closely again, regularly exercise and get appropriate sleep.  We all need a break from time to time.  So many of us give - give - give but fail to replenish and renew ourselves.  I told myself, when Mom became ill, that I needed to strengthen myself and become my best, in order to be the best for her.  Once she was gone, the grief set in and I lost my focus of self to some degree.  Maybe subconsciously, Mom's death halted my reason and desire for the daily replenishing routine I had become accustomed to.  Instead of saying, "I lost my focus,"  it might be better stated that my focus changed.

I definitely felt the desire to be comforted.  Though I was so appreciative that God had brought me a husband during my time with Mom, something changed with him once she passed too. He began to show signs of being self-centered and a lack of  being understanding and sympathetic, (see the poem I wrote previously and read between the lines).  He began to treat me as if I was disposable for some reason.  I asked if we could do counseling together but his response was a very loud, "NO!!"  God hates divorce, but He does not want His children mistreated either.  Unfortunately, after much prayer and patience, divorce ensued.  I relocated, with just enough gas to get me to my destination and I began to comfort myself.  Wrapping up in a warm blanket with Lay's original chips in the yellow bag and sour cream and onion dip was a definite go-to...but if one goes there too often, well, you know the consequences. LOL.  BUT, as I stated, I'm back.  I've relocated, and God has been so AMAZING; blessing me beyond measure.  The love of the Lord and Him working through my VA church, family in Christ along with my children, step-children and grandchildren really lifted me.  BTW, I now have a one year old grandson -  meet Zion!
He and his sister, Kalaya have birthdays 1 day apart. What an AWESOME Provider the Heavenly Father is! 

Thank you to all those Mom Squad sweethearts that continue to reach out to me and pray for me.  You are forever in my heart.  I am happy The Fish brought us together.  Most experiences are golden opportunities and no experience is a waste.  We can learn, grow, share, help someone else and become better, forgiving and more loving along the way, via our experiences.  

I will share more as the months progress.  For now, take care, bless you, and check-in with me here.  It is so nice to be with you again.  I must give a shout-out to Morgan MacDonald of Paper Raven Books, my new mentor.  I truly believe we all have at least one wonderful book inside of us and Morgan can lead you to making this dream a reality.  Reach out to her and review her blog at http://paperravenbooks.com/craft-of-writing/.

Love and care,

Darlene aka Dee, formerly of 95.5 The Fish - Mom Squad!

P.S. Periodically, I have had the pleasure of hearing from the old gang.  Continue to check out the wonderful things that the current Mom Squad is doing!